theJEDMAN NATION-A New Wave Manifesto

Documenting the JED Experience

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

In the JOCO, I see these women walking with these camal backs drinking systems. A camal back is like a backpack with a plastic water bladder. It has a tube that you can suck the water into your mouth leaving your hands free. They are designed for long distance bikers, hikers and runners. They are probably around $30-$50. I don't really think they are necessary for a 30 minute walk through the burbs, but you make the call. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 8:22 PM

PALISADES GIRL- Once in the dawning of 1980, Palisades girl took her covertable Mercedes Benz over to Fairfax High School. Palisades Girl started dating the wonder boy, Tony. They probably did some illegal stuff. They drove that Mercedes Benz all over West L.A. doing illegal stuff. Tony loved Palisades Girl. Tony loved her a lot, but Palisades Girl also loved a boy named Flea. She loved both of them so much that she coulnd't decide which one to pick. The real problem was that Tony and Flea were friends. They were good friends. They were musicians. They were the future kings of rock funk, not funk rock. Palisades Girl continued to date both Flea and Tony. Palisades Girl continued to do illegal stuff with both Flea and Tony. Neither Flea nor Tony knew that they were dating the same Palisades Girl. What was Palisades Girl to do?
Then, one night, Flea and Tony had a gig with their band. They both invited Palisades Girl the show. Palisades Girl went to the Whisky to see Flea and Tony play. Palisades girl also went to do illegal stuff. Palisades Girl was under 21. She was illegal to go to the show, but the author does not know the legal drinking age in West L.A. in 1980. So, the author is assuming Palisades Girl was doing illegal stuff. At the show, Palisades Girl saw Flea. Palisades Girl saw Tony. Palisades Girl could not hide her shame anymore. She did not want to hurt Flea, Tony nor the band. So she left before the encore and took off with the roadie from the band. His name was Moth Ball. Palisades Girl left with Moth Ball in the covertible Mercedes Benz. Tony and Flea were really upset that Palisades girl had midguided them over, but Flea and Tony were upset that they had to pack up all the gear. Palisades Girl and Moth Ball left West L.A. and went north. They went north to Cal-Berkeley to go to school. They did plenty of illegal stuff and they lived happily ever after, at least until Midwest boy came into play and ruined everyone's life forever, but at least the future kings of rock funk, not funk rock were spared. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 7:58 PM

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

I don't want the blog to turn into a sports thing, but I have to comment on the J.R. situation. J.R. should be kicked off the Jayhawk's round ball team. He attended a club that was on the list of places not to go to by the athletic department. He should not be allowed to play basketball anymore at the Universtiy of Kansas, but the University should honor his scholarship. J.R. will probably leave the University in that situation. He'll play ball in Kuiwait before he stays at KU with no basketball. Plus, he hasn't lived up to his hype. He can't shoot, drive or play defense. Let him leave to the NBA. Let's see if he makes it. My guess is that he'll be playing in Kuiwait next fall.
I don't know what happened, but it is my guess that someone messed with him and he stuck around too long and then some stuff got out of hand to the point when J.R. got knifed in the parking lot of the Moon Bar. My guess is that J.R. should have left a long time before the incident. Only bad things can happen when you are out past midnight. J.R. has should have realized that he is high profile. He's on TV. Everyone on TV is high profile. He doesn't have the same free life like Bon Chappell and me.
It is stupid to get into a fight. I tell my clients all the time that you can't fight. Fighting is wrong. When you fight, you allow someone else to control your behavior. It is so much better to walk away. I feel that you upset the opponent more if you walk away. I hate that revenge mentality that people have. It is dumb. Just leave. J.R. should have left the bar.
Speaking of the Moon Bar. It used to be the Village Inn. Back in my day in Lawrence, theSplinter, Scorteez and I used to frecuent that place late at night for a 2000 calorie death meal of eggs, gravy, bacon, chicken fried steak and pancakes. Those were the days. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 7:49 PM

Sunday, May 22, 2005

I've been playing good disc golf lately. I've increased the distance off the tee. I'm getting good. My short game is really not too bad. I've made several two's lately on shorter holes in Olathe. That is a good course. I like it. On 11, I chucked that thing all the way to the pin. I just had to drop it in for a deuce. I also deuced number 16 twice.
So, just when I think I'm playing good, I go play another course. I played Wyco last week. That is a long course. Most holes are Olathe are 200-500 feet. Wyco had a 700 foot hole. I threw that thing twice and I still couldn't see the pin. It has a lot of open field. the grass was really high. I couldn't find my disc sometimes. It was windy. The wind knocked my throws right out of the sky. I was terrible. I almost quit the game, but I continued and by continuing. I learned to love myself. Learning to love myself is the greatest love of all. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 9:38 PM

It has taken me awhile to get this posted, but I attended the Hooter's swimsuit competition. I heard about it on the radio and I saw them putting up the tent in the parking lot, so I had to go because I figured it would be a goldmine of blog material. It was dumb. There were a lot of people there. Some people seemed like they were taking it a bit too seriously. Basically what happened was the girls waked the cat walk about three or four times and they eliminated girls each time. They gave bios like, "She can't resist green m&m's and loves to lay out with friends in her spare time." Then, they each had to tell their favorite Hooter's moment. "Meeting people" was a popular response although the crowd didn't really listen when the girls talked. The two cheesy looking rubias got the most HOOTS from the crowd. One of them had some work done. She was way out of proportion. Eventually, they got down to the end. One of the prettiest girls won. The winner was a biology major/pre-med and she also worked in the cancer unit at the hospital. It almost made me hope for a little curable cancer just to have her work to save me. The winner got $500 and a trip to Miami to compete for Miss Hooter International. It was just good clean fun.
My favorite bartender was there. Thank the world. She is a model of efficiency. I've been in there other times and the bartender doesn't keep the bar clean. Glasses sit there after people leave. Ashh trays are never emptied. The ketchup top gets crusty. Not when my favorite bartender is there, No.
I walked down there. On the way home after the contest I was walking and I hit some dirt that I knew was there, but then I took another step and I sank ankle deep into mud. It caked on to my new walking shoes. The more steps I took the more I sank it. I guess that was my punishment for attending an event that exploits women. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 9:15 PM

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

I got a lot of clients that like juice bags. I borrowed someone's Costco card to get some reduced price juice bags. I dont' know if it is Costco or Cosco. I'm not willing to do the research to find out. It was a warm sunny day. I went in the store. I made it passed the first line of security. I got my box of 40 juice bags and arrived at the check out aisle. The checker looked at the picture on the card. It was not me. I was busted. Managers came from all over the sotre. They were not going to let me have my juice bags. I told them that I was going to start screaming like a mad fool if I didn't get my juice bags. This got their attention. But, they still took me into the employee break room and took my picture and plastered it up all over the place. I am not allowed to enter Costco again. I'm banned from the Costco forever. I see this as a positive. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 8:03 PM

Saturday, May 07, 2005

It has taken a long time, but I have figured out the maximum amount of beer to drink in one sitting. I have researched and researched this figure for many years. I think Bon Chappell can back me up on my extensive research. The magic perfect maximum figure is 28 oz. Drinking any more is too much. 28 oz. gives the perfect amount of relaxation without turning one into a yeahoo. 28 oz. doesn't make you feel bad. 28 oz. doesn't make you tired 28 oz. doesn't dry you out. No one should drink more than 28 oz. in one sitting. I have surpassed the magical 28 oz. figure many times. I think Bon Chappell can back me up on that one as well. It the same day you can probably have two sittings with separate 28 oz intakes, but there needs to be time between the two sittings. Hours of time. However, plan on being a tubber if you have multiple sittings everyday.
The only problem is quiting at 28 oz. You get to that figure and you think you can have one more, then one more becomes two more. It is tough to quit. You know you should quit, but you stay out there. You have to have a taste without total indulgement. This is tough. l was always praised for eating a lot ast a kid and I turned into a porker. I'm a porker. I have trouble out running my deamons as a porker. Lately i've done a good job at ending my porker days. I eat beans intstead of the chicken fried steak. I'm less of a porker now than I was when I drank beers and ate and ate food food. Sometimes now t he deamons come back. The DEAMONS. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 7:53 PM

Sunday, May 01, 2005

Well, I attended a power alternative pop rock chick show tonight. I saw Sarah Mclachlan at the big arena. It was pretty good. I like girls that sing good that I would want to have lunch with. Ms. Sarah played all the songs to keep the pop kids happy, like me. This was another good showing of my support for Canadian Power Trios. I was the Rush twice and The Triumph once. I saw a couple of Bryan Adams Videos and Helen Ready and Alanis Morrisette scared me. Neil Young and I actually had and still have 2 Loverboy albums. theJEDMAN supports Canadian Power Trios. theJEDMAN is an athletic supporter. Sarah Mclachlan is just one person you say. Well, you take any three persons in her band and that is a trio.
Rock shows are kind of expensive, but they are fun. I like the live music played by professional musicians that write the stuff. Nothing is more boring than a bar cover band. The Red Zone used to bore me to tears. I don't spend money on video games so, I figure I can go to a couple or arena rock shows a year. Plus, I like to travel. I'm into experiences, not possessions. Experiences turn us into the people that we are. Have you ever been to someone's house where they spend a lot of time talking about things they have. I have. It is unfortunate, but I guess that not everyone can be responsibility free like me. There were probably 6,000 well-behaved fans in the arena for this rock show. I like these medium size shows. It makes it easy to get a drink and really easy to go to the bathroom. Parking is cheaper. It is awesome.
It wouldn't be pop rock star blog without a commentary on security. Ms. Mclachlan or the future Mrs. Jedman as I like to think of her is married to some guy in the band. That is very convenient. Sarah is locked into this world where she has been misguided by a security force that keeps her form meeting men like theJEDMAN. She ends up settling rather than finding true love. Anyone can date someone in the band. I could date in the band. Ms. Sarah deserves and shall have so much more than just some doofus in the band. She shall have lunch with theJEDMAN.
There was an opening act. The Perishers. I think they shoud rethink that name. Wise guys like me are having field day with that one. Gee, I wished the Perishers would have perished before they got on stage. After hearing the Perisher's new record, I wished they would have perished before the last one. I hope the Perishers perish before there is another tour. See ya!
Then, the car lights got left on and I we caught a ride back to Raytown with Terry. I was in Raytown after midnight. Raytowna after midnight. Raytown after midnight looking for a fight. I was in Raytown after midnight. theJEDMAN