theJEDMAN NATION-A New Wave Manifesto

Documenting the JED Experience

Sunday, March 14, 2004

I saw theLIZ. I saw the Liz Phair Rock and Roll show. I journeyed to Chicago's Vic Theater to see theLIZ on Friday March 11. theLIZ returned to her hometown of Chicago to play a really cool theater. It was awesome.
theLIZ came out wearing tight low riding jeans with yellow retro puma's and a yellow canvas belt to match. Remember the belt makes the outfit. theLIZ also had on a halter top like thing with lots of mid-drift to appeal to make the superficial man happy. The superficial man makes up a big part of theLIZ's fan base, including this reporter. theLIZ was so beautiful. When I saw her last fall she had a skirt and high heels on. The retro Pumas allowed for more freedom of movement thus, torturing the superficial man with her sultriness. I sat there in a serious gaze. theLIZ is so beautiful I would eat bacon and gravy until I puked to get on her tour bus. I love theLIZ.
Not suprisingly absent from theLIZ was the tailbone tattoo. Let that be a lesson to you young girls out there. Don't mark up your tailbone. The superficial man doesn't like it. Also, there was nothing dangling from the belly button. Another big no no for the superfiscial man. theLIZ is a role model for young girls.
Since the fall show in Kansas City, I've been studying up on theLIZ with my private theLIZ listening parties. She played all of my favorites, including all the ones that have bad words in them. theLIZ is subtle about her bad word choice. I love that about theLIZ. It was awesome. It was high intensity power chick pop rock. I loved it. It was extraordinary. It was flashing lights and the beautiful LIZ. It was rock and roll. I've been waiting all my life to see a good power rock show with a chick singer. If it wasn't for that security force, I would probably be Liz's boyfriend right now.
The next day. theLIZ played a 5 songs at the Apple store on Michigan Avenue. It was great. That is the third time that I got to see theLIZ. I've followed theLIZ. All this time, I've had this well controlled obsession with theLIZ, thinking I'm the only one is this category. When I mention theLIZ to other people, most don't know who she is. Well, after going to these shows, there are a lot of dopes following theLIZ around like me. I thought I was the only one. There is competition for the love of theLIZ. I might not be the new champion.
I did some other stuff in Chicago. I might live there if I had a lot of money in the summertime. It probably gets really cold there in the winter. Cold, bad for theJEDMAN. There were a lot of richies in Chicago on Michigan Avenue. It is a true land of the beautiful people. There are a lot of beautiful women there walking around in beautiful cloths with beautiful hair, beautiful attitudes, being beautiful. I love being in the land of the beautiful people. theJEDMAN is beautiful and being with the beautiful people is where her belongs.
I watched them paint the river green for St. Pats. I saw some of the parade. I got tired of playing video games at the ESPN zone and gave my game card to a little kid. I ate a lot of vegetables and avoid the pork chops. I went to a dive Irish bar on Ontario Street that was a hole, but it was awesome. I drank some Lenie Red served by a bartender that provided many superfiscial man moments. I rode in a cab that went really fast. I rode in a cab that sounded like it was really broken. I didn't know protocol for tipping the doorman. I ate eggs, but no bacon. I missed out on some pizza. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 10:15 PM

Sunday, March 07, 2004

I haven't had the chance to write in over a week. A lot has happened. Let me recap:
*The golden retriever is no more. I'm saddling up the new Maroon Marauder Mac II. I loved the retriever, but it was just too temperamental. It left me stranded one too many times.
*They're playing the new Liz Phair single on the radio, but they are leaving off the guitar intro to the song. Plus, Wal-Mart is selling a censored version of theLIZ CD. Disrespect to theLIZ. Liz is no Hip Hopper that rants and raves with profanity and violence against people. theLIZ just can't find a good boyfriend. She needs to find theJEDMAN. theLIZ is very subtle about putting in a bad word once in awhile in her songs. The subtlely makes it good. Stop dising theLIZ.
*A couple of hairs in my eyebrows grow way longer than the others. I clipped them off. That is metrosexual behavior baby!
*I made a couple of trips to Hooter's. I go there for the pop culture. Plus, it is kind of my neighborhood joint. People take a lot of little kids in there. It is a family place. The Hooter's girls are good role models. There was a bachelorette party in there. The bachelorette got her picture taken with the Hooter's girls. Also, I ran into this dude that used to work at the KING CRAB. He was there with his wife. Furthermore, I have kind of achieved something that I never had intended with this study of pop culture. I have achieved regular status at Hooter's. The bartender doesn't know my name, but she remembers me each time I come it. She mentions something that we talked about the last time. This is a very dangerous status to hold. I might have to actually do something about getting a life soon. This regular status may just be too much to handle.
*No one has entered the win a date with theJEDMAN contest to the Metallica Rock and Roll Show. The Hooter's girl may be the leader, since she is the only one I have talked to that seems to be eligible. Get those entries in. Read the February 22nd entry.
*I won $9.25 playing poker in Raymore. That is big money. I'm the new champion. I left the party early. I always leave early now. Leaving early adds to the mystic of theJEDMAN. It makes it look like I got somewhere to go. It was kind of dangerous walking out of there with almost 10 bucks of people's money. I could have got my legs broken. Plus, I left to see theQUICK. TheQUICK was in town. theQUICK is the greatest. He flexed the tarjeta for Bucklin and theJEDMAN. Plus, theQUICK did an awesome job picking the section to sit in. I was glad to see Bucklin. I hadn't seen him for a long time. He has responsibility, unlike theJEDMAN. theJEDMAN