theJEDMAN NATION-A New Wave Manifesto
Documenting the JED Experience
Sunday, March 14, 2004
I saw theLIZ. I saw the Liz Phair Rock and Roll show. I journeyed to Chicago's Vic Theater to see theLIZ on Friday March 11. theLIZ returned to her hometown of Chicago to play a really cool theater. It was awesome.
theLIZ came out wearing tight low riding jeans with yellow retro puma's and a yellow canvas belt to match. Remember the belt makes the outfit. theLIZ also had on a halter top like thing with lots of mid-drift to appeal to make the superficial man happy. The superficial man makes up a big part of theLIZ's fan base, including this reporter. theLIZ was so beautiful. When I saw her last fall she had a skirt and high heels on. The retro Pumas allowed for more freedom of movement thus, torturing the superficial man with her sultriness. I sat there in a serious gaze. theLIZ is so beautiful I would eat bacon and gravy until I puked to get on her tour bus. I love theLIZ.
Not suprisingly absent from theLIZ was the tailbone tattoo. Let that be a lesson to you young girls out there. Don't mark up your tailbone. The superficial man doesn't like it. Also, there was nothing dangling from the belly button. Another big no no for the superfiscial man. theLIZ is a role model for young girls.
Since the fall show in Kansas City, I've been studying up on theLIZ with my private theLIZ listening parties. She played all of my favorites, including all the ones that have bad words in them. theLIZ is subtle about her bad word choice. I love that about theLIZ. It was awesome. It was high intensity power chick pop rock. I loved it. It was extraordinary. It was flashing lights and the beautiful LIZ. It was rock and roll. I've been waiting all my life to see a good power rock show with a chick singer. If it wasn't for that security force, I would probably be Liz's boyfriend right now.
The next day. theLIZ played a 5 songs at the Apple store on Michigan Avenue. It was great. That is the third time that I got to see theLIZ. I've followed theLIZ. All this time, I've had this well controlled obsession with theLIZ, thinking I'm the only one is this category. When I mention theLIZ to other people, most don't know who she is. Well, after going to these shows, there are a lot of dopes following theLIZ around like me. I thought I was the only one. There is competition for the love of theLIZ. I might not be the new champion.
I did some other stuff in Chicago. I might live there if I had a lot of money in the summertime. It probably gets really cold there in the winter. Cold, bad for theJEDMAN. There were a lot of richies in Chicago on Michigan Avenue. It is a true land of the beautiful people. There are a lot of beautiful women there walking around in beautiful cloths with beautiful hair, beautiful attitudes, being beautiful. I love being in the land of the beautiful people. theJEDMAN is beautiful and being with the beautiful people is where her belongs.
I watched them paint the river green for St. Pats. I saw some of the parade. I got tired of playing video games at the ESPN zone and gave my game card to a little kid. I ate a lot of vegetables and avoid the pork chops. I went to a dive Irish bar on Ontario Street that was a hole, but it was awesome. I drank some Lenie Red served by a bartender that provided many superfiscial man moments. I rode in a cab that went really fast. I rode in a cab that sounded like it was really broken. I didn't know protocol for tipping the doorman. I ate eggs, but no bacon. I missed out on some pizza. theJEDMAN
.: posted by Jed 10:15 PM
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