NORTH AMERICAN TOUR 2006

This entry might take awhile to complete so read it more than once. LAST UPDATE 10-10, 2006
August 28th-I have a reputation for making up stories or taking stories and exaggerating them. I'm not going to do that here. This story might need several edits to complete the full recollection that I have of the moment. I'm going to be as accurate as I can be.
I'm going to start with the last couple of hours of my trip to lead off this final entry of Jed's North American Tour. Across the street from the Westin Hotel by the Toronto Bay are two big tall condo highrises. There was an open area between them with a market, some shops and a restaurant. We were walking back to the hotel to leave town. I was walking across this open area to the market. I looked across the way and there were two women standing there. They were both pretty so I glanced over there. I entered the market and soon after they both came inside the market. I was in there walking around. I was looking at the blonde women. She had her hair tied back and had wrap around sunglasses on. She was a tiny and short woman. She had green sweat like nice pants on and a tank T-shirt. I don't remember the color. They looked like they were nice. The glasses looked nice. The hair looked nice. Everything looked nice. She was decked out in what an international power pop goddess would wear before she got on the bus to go to Washington D.C. So, I thought, "Is that Shakira?" Last night after the concert, we talked to the fireman that we met the day before and he said that Shakira had just arrived before us. She went into the north tower of the Westin. I was in the south tower. Those firemen make out like bandits.
Back to the market. At this point there were three dudes in there that came up to the women. They looked like guys that would be on a rock and roll tour. The blonde woman was looking at the fruit. She picked up the fruit. She smelled it and put it back down. I was walking around looking at stuff. I got really nervous. My heart was racing. I was breathing. I had my Shakira Tour T-shirt on and a button down shirt over it, but the buttons were undone. I looked at the water. I looked at the sandwiches. I looked at the blonde woman trying to figure out if it was her. I didn't know. She went and grabbed several bags of chips off the rack. Then she walked around the store. She walked past me. She looked active and energetic. She went back to the fruit and talked to her the other woman and the 3 men. After hearing her speak, I'm convinced it was her. I got really nervous then. My anxiety skyrocketed on many different levels. Was I going to talk to her? Would I say, "I enjoyed the show last night? Could I have a picture with you? Even better, I could have said, "Me encantaba el concierto anoche." A dork like me speaking Spanish to her might get me an in. No, I'm not doing any of that. If I try to talk nothing will come out. Then, I thought if I do go over there, those guys are going to pummel me. I'm in a foreign country. I don't want to do anything wrong here and not be able to leave. I'm not spending the night in the Toronto jail. I just stood there. Then, I walked around some more. Then, I just went outside. On the street outside were 5 big rock star tour buses. Ok, I'll just sit out here. She'll come out of the store. I can see her walk by and not talk to her or do anything, but I'll get to see her again. I sat there for awhile. One of the dudes came out with a bunch of food on a cart. Shakira never came out. There must have been another exit to the store.
It was a brief instance in the universe where my path crossed Shakira's path. I could have got a picture. I could have got an autograph. I could have been asked to be in the band. Since I was a little boy growing up in Overland Park, Kansas, it was always my dream to play bass for a hot latin popl rock singer in arenas. That was my chance. I could have been asked to lunch. I could have been her boyfriend, but I did nothing which is ok. I think it makes a better story than if I talked to her and got a picture or an autograph. Stories of ineptitude are sometimes kind of fun, but I'm still an idiot and I blew it big time. It was my one chance. Shakira was in the Kitchen Table Market on 10 Queens Quay in Toronto, Ontario on Monday, August 28th around 1 pm.
The Shakira rock show was on Sunday, August 27, 2006 in Air Canada Centre in Toronto, Canada. It was pretty good. It was sold out. There were probably 20,000 people there. I sat in the balcony of the hockey arena to the side of the stage. I had two big jumbo trons right in front of me. I focused most of my attention on the stage, but I did glance at the jumbo trons from time to time. Shakira was great. She had five costume changes. The costumes where pretty good. Mid-drift was visible most of the evening. She came out in black pants and a shear shiny vest thing. Then she changed to a skirt with things hanging off and a smaller top. Then she went to black pants and black shirt. Then, she came out a red long dress for one song. She spun around and made the dress look like a flower. She changed again to a skirt and top. She was barefoot the whole time. If I have one complain, Shakira didn't get all leathered up like she has been before. I have a concert DVD of Shakira's. In that she is all leathered up in the rock star pants for part of the show. We missed that tonight, but Shakira is moving in different directions, so my complaint isn't really a complaint. She still looked very good. She looked like how an international rock star goddess would look.
Shakira plays rock music. She comes out. She has a band with guitars, drums, base, keyboards, back up singer, etc. She is on a regular rock star stage. Sometimes she plays guitar and she does guitar solos. All the band is visible playing during the show like a regular rock band. Shakira just sings and dances. There are really no choreographed moves. It is all natural. A couple of times during the show she went into the belly dancing stuff from her middle eastern roots for a short time. It is pretty good. Then, she busts out into one of her power songs. Si te vas and Inevitable were outanding power rock performances. Also she played: Esoty Aqui, Anthologia, Hips don't lie, Whenever, Whereever, Ciega Sordomuda, Ojos asi, Don't bother, La Tortura, Obtener Un si, No, Hey You, Te Dejo Madrid,... She sang one I didn't know, but a couple of others that I don't remember to write down in the list.
I love power guitar rock with big voiced girl singers. It was great. It was like an experiene on a new level. I love big arena rock shows. The bonus is that Shakira is easy to look at and she has a big voice. She's so pretty. Plus, she sings all of these jilted love songs and songs about a love not there anymore. Shakira is sad when her love is not there. She is mad when her love went off when another woman. There is rage and fury in her voice. The show was mezmerizing. It was awesome. It was probably the best show I've seen. It was intense. The life of theJEDMAN is always intense. I couldn't ask for anything more. She played for an hour and 50 minutes. That is pretty good. I think standard rock shows should be at least 90 minutes. Less than that is cheating the consumer. Close to two hours is a bonus. It was great. It was at the Air Canada Center where the Maple Leafs and the Raptors play. With all the hockey stuff in the arena it is hard to tell that they play basketball there also. I picked a good seat. My seat was two rows from the tunnel. Through the tunnel and across the concorse was the bathroom. It was about 20 feet from my seat. It was awesome.
I didn't take my camera to the show. In the past, concerts have always been a place where no cameras have been allowed. I thought this was still the case, but not anymore. I guess with camera phones and digital cameras, there is no way to stop anyone from taking a picture so no one even tries to. That makes sense because there is so much garbage on the Internet. So, there were flashes going off the whole time. With it being dark and lights flashing, I don't see how you can get a good picture. I sat by the aisle. This guy came down to snap some photos. I saw them in the view finder. They were terrible. You couldn't see anything. It was too far away, too dark, too much movement and too many lights flashing. I bet if you were in front of the stage, you might be able to get a good picture if the spotlight was on Shakira and she was still. I don't know. If I had known, I would have taken my camara. I would have shot 400 pictures. I might have got a couple of good ones, but they would be from far away. Plus, I would have printed all of them off no matter how bad they were. If I had my camera there, my focus on the show would be reduced. So, I don't know if that would have been good either.

Still going back in time, before the show, we cruised over to the island in Lake Ontario. It was really foggy. You can see it from downtown, a ten minute boat ride away is a series of islands with channels. It is basically one big park. They have a rich guy marina and a poor guy marina. Some people live there. There is an amusement park and a couple of restaurants. Basically, it is a big open place. It was cool. We ate at a place. I paid the bill and the guy asked if I need change. I said yes. He came back and I took the money and left $5. We went back to get on the boat. Here comes the guy. I guess he changed my money but brought all of it back to the table. So, inadvertently, I stiffed him. It was weird that he would bring all of the money back instead of the difference. I asked another waitress at the bar after the show. She said the guy was an idiot.
The day before, we arrived in Toronto. We ate at some place by the water. It was ok. It was kind of chilly. We went to the baseball game. The Royals crushed the Blue Jays 2-0. Run-Elvis pitched a complete game. The Rogers Center was someone cool. It looks bigger on TV. It was fun. I almost got beat up with my Kansas City hat on. After the game we went up the CN tower. It is tall. There was a glass floor. I was scared to walk on it. It was pretty up there. There were a lot of French speakers around. I tried to understand them, but I could only make out some words.
Later, I got some dinner at a place on the trendy King Street. There were a lot of restaurants with beautiful people in them. Toronto has a lot of beautiful people. Plus, there are a lot of immigrants. I couldn't believe how many dark haired and dark skin people are there. It was kind of cool. Toronto is really clean. It is a foreign country to me and it seemed like it instead of an extension of the USA. It is it's own place. I didn't expect that persay. I figured I would see more people like me except that they say eay!!!!!!!!!!! It was not really like that at all. I loved the beautiful people feel. I felt at home in beautiful people world. I would go back again, but with no Shakira concert or chance meeting. It might be a letdown.
That hotel breakfast buffet was awesome. It was like $16, but it was awesome. They had the traditional bacon, sausage and eggs. Also, they had berries. Lots of berries. They had black, blue, ras, straw and other berries that I didn't know. They had granola also and other grain products. They had berries alone and berries with granola. It was a fiber paradise. It was colon cancers worse nightmare. They had fresh juice as well. It was awesome.

TEXAS, Mexico and CALIFORNIA

I went on vacation. I left on July 7th. I went to Houston for my first stop. Houston is a big flat city. I went to the aquarium. They had a big white tiger there in a marble palace. I not so sure about why a tiger belongs in an aquarium, but it was cool. The guy at the Hard Rock was in upselling mode. I ordered the vegetarian sandwich and he wanted to put a chicken on it for me. Plus he wanted me to get the sweet potato fries and a strawberry margarita. This upselling has gotten way out of control. I saw the Astros play. It was ok. There was a really drunk woman in front of me and the air conditioning vent splash me with droplets of water three or four times during the game. The Cardinals won the game. The roof stayed closed. It was fun. I got to go to see the sea. I love to see the sea. I saw Galveston Island. It was not too pretty, but it was the sea. Then we went to this board walk place and rode the Beast. The Beast was a high powered speed boat that cruised Galveston Bay. I got wet. The Beast would turn and I got splashed. More accurately, I got soaked. It was intense. The life of theJEDMAN is always intense. Other highlights, I watched Shaggy play on his computer. I walked around the green belt trails and didn't get lost. I watched Hercules make his mark on the trail. I saw the Pirates and Superman movies. I cooked fish and asparagus on the grill. It was intense. The life of theJEDMAN is always intense.
On July 14, I went to Cabo San Lucas Mexico. It was beautiful. I got picked up in the suburban. Immediately, I ate fish tacos and drank some Pacificos by the Marina. It was beautiful. The marina was the land of the beautiful people. I was a beautiful person. On the 15th, we went up to Todos Santos, there we saw the early settlement on the peninsula. Plus, we saw the Hotel California. It was not even listed in the guide book. That is pretty high considering I stood on the corner in Winslow, Arizona in 2002. We ate at the Tequila Sunrise. This restaurant is locked into playing nothing but Eagles music.
On the 16th, we went to the beach. I sat on the beach at Billygan's island. It was so beautiful. I had some beers and a strawberry smoothie. It was great. Later, we went on the Pirate ship. It was intense. They had free beer. The pirate girl and other pirates brought it too you. The ship toured the bay and there was somewhat of a show. It was fun. Later, we hit the No Where Bar. Then we hit Cabo Wabo. It was weird, because the night I'm in Cabo Wabo. Sammy Hagar is playing in Kansas City. It was a juxtaposition of intensity. The life of theJEDMAN and Hagar is always intense. In San Lucas, first we are going to Nowhere bar. Then we are going to Cabo Wabo. Then we are going to Squid Roe. Then, we are going back to Cabo Wabo. Then, we are going back to Squid Roe. We are going to dance at every place. You are not going to go unless you dance. Ok, we are going to dance. Move you hips this way.
On the 17th, we hung out in the marina. I drank some daiquiris at Senor Sweets. By the Marina some young American girls asked me to take their picture. I did. They offered to take mine. I said that is ok. One of them said, "Come on you're a good-looking guy." TheJEDMAN still has it. That was very dangerous because my ego vaulted to new heights after that one. It was so good. Then, we went to the USA like supermarket to get some food. I was the only Caucasian in there. Everyone had dark skin and dark hair. Very few times in my life have I been in that type of situation. It was no problem. I felt like I was far away. That is what I like. It makes life interesting. On the 18th, we hit the beach again. I got in the water. It was great, but I'm an idiot. I got kind of burned on my shoulders. In fact, I got burned a lot and it hurt so bad. I'm stupid. It only takes a few minutes. Later, we hung out on the marina and drank some champagne with some rich dudes at Barometer, the eurotecho bar with weird videos. Later, we hit SQUID ROE. The party is going down tonight at SQUID ROE. SQUID ROE is an awesome two level bar with a circular DJ booth in the sky. We went up in the balcony that circle the main floor. It was so loud and I looked up and I could see the sky. There was no roof and it was that loud. It was intense. Girls danced on tables. They sold hot dogs and beers were kind of high. It was great. Plus, SQUID ROE is open almost all the time. They close down for a couple of hours in the morning to spray off the vomit on the floor with the fire hose. The perfect night would be to start off at Nowhere Bar. Then you should finish at Squid Roe. The party is going down tonight at Squid Roe. I swear I saw Jessica Simpson and Ashleigh along with a lot of other rubias. They were eating in some restaurant. I walked by and accidently kicked a bottle. It was late at night and everyone was hammered. Jessican yelled, "All right," and high 5ed me. I realize this comment may put my Shakira story in jeopardy, but I bet it might have been Jessica Simpson.
On the 19th, I was sunburned and tired. It was so hot. We saw a movie. It was called Silent Hill. It was a terrible horror movie. I had to try hard not to laugh. It was that bad. Then, we went on the big cruiser boat past the arch and up the pacific side. It was pretty. People brought me drinks and there were snacks. I had a great time. It was so pretty.
On the 20th, we ate at a restaurant called Mi Casa. The fish was so good. I never had white fish that was so meaty and wonderful. It was great.
I got to stay at a nice hotel that was in the town. It had a pool. My room spilled out onto the patio by the pool. Every morning, I got to eat make your own toast and drink coffee on the patio by the pool. It was great. Plus, there was fruit and fresh OJ. The woman that ran the place was so nice. She brought me coffee to my room. By staying there I got to stay in the town. It was interesting. The marina is the land of the beautiful people. Being in the town was interesting. CeCe was so nice to me. I had a lot of fun with her. I haven't been treated so well in a long time. She is wonderful.
On the 21, I went to San Francisco. I did typical stuff. On the 23rd, we rode bikes. Shan-nice has many bikes. We rode to the BART station in Oakland. We took the BART to the Embarcadero. We rode to the Warf. Then, we rode to the bridge and over. We cruised downhill to Sausalito. We hung out there in the cafe by the water. Then we took the ferry back to the ferry building. Then we took BART back to my summer home. Well, first we stopped off in Rock Bridge to eat a burrito and to get my laundry at the wash and fold. It is the big city. Wash and fold is what the beautiful people do. I'm a beautiful person. I take it to wash and fold. It was great. We covered a lot of territory.
I can't remember all the dates. So, another day, we rode the boat on the bay. It was a small $10 boat ride in a small fishing boat. Brentwood refused to go citing the possibility of sea sickness. It was fun. I love the boats. It was great. It was the same boat guys that I rode on in March 99. The English boater mate was the same girl I believe. Later, we ate fish at a Warf restaurant. It was good. We stopped by Specs on the way home.
We took off to the mountains. We hit Chico, California. Chico is a fun little college town. We got there on farmer's market day in downtown. We ate some pizza. The next day we camped in the mountains. It was beautiful. I slept under big trees. I like big trees. Then we when on a hike. We were up high enough to see a frozen lake and tromp through the snow. We hiked on a long trail. Shan-nice and Brentwood left their hiking boots in the car. They hiked on 1950s technology sneakers. Brentwood fell down a lot. We hiked to this place where the sulfur gas was coming out of the ground. It was pretty cool. That night we stayed in Quincy. It was ok. Shan-nice made us walk around the town a lot looking for a restaurant that was surprisingly close to the motel.
The next day we hit Sierra City. It was a nice town. We stayed at the old west Old Sierra City Hotel. Bob was the owner. He was nice. My room had a balcony. We ate outside at a restaurant up the street. We had some beers at the bar in the hotel. Bob was fun. He is into his business. He dances with the customers. I had a good time.
From there we hit a bunch of lakes. We hike up from lower Sardine lake to upper Sardine lake. It was pretty. The water was clear. We then buffaloed our way to Downieville. If you want a drink or something to eat in Downieville, you better do it early. We stayed at a nice place. It was cute. On the way home we hit Nevada City and Grass Valley. They were both pretty towns, but I like Nevada City more. It was prettier. There were a lot of houses for sale. It must be hard to live there in a big old expensive house. We returned to Oakland. We ate some Blondie's pizza on Telegraph. Yeah, I'm starting my sophomore year at Cal.
We went to a Korean Restaurant. They only had chopsticks on the table. I started to use them. I didn't think I was doing bad. When the woman saw me and my technique with the chopsticks, she said, I"ll get you a fork." She brought me a fork and I used the fork to eat the rest of my meal. I was devestated.
On my last day in the Bay, we had Jed's day in the City. We rode the ferry over to the ferry building. We toured the ferry building. We ate fine chocolates. Not only does Shan-nice have a love for exotic animals, but he has a love for fine chocolates. We got a coffee at Union square. Then we walked through China Town. I have a love for the markets in china town. I like the fish martket. I like to see the live fish. I know that they will be killed soon, but I like to see the live fish. Then we hit Washington square. We had a beer there. We walked around North Beach. I took a picture for some teenagers in front of Joe Dimaggio's. We walked up the big hills. We ate pizza at Golden Boy. We then went for a beer at Vezuvios. We worked our way back down to the financial district. we got back on the ferry and then my day in the city was over.
My vacation this year was outstanding. I had a good time. I'm one of those people that doesn't realize how much fun I'm having during the vacation, but upon reflection I realize that I'm having the best time ever. Brentwood and Shan-nice were outstanding. Oh, on the way home I gave up my seat on Southwest so that a father and his little girl could have two seats together. So, I'm not that bad a person all the time. Remember, the life of theJEDMAN is always intense.