theJEDMAN NATION-A New Wave Manifesto
Documenting the JED Experience
Sunday, April 17, 2005
I rode my bike 15 miles today and I played disc golf. I was really bad out there at Prairie Center, but I nailed two long puts to get a 2 on two of the holes. On 10, I jacked it in from about 70 feet. It was a great throw. It was luck, but it takes an athlete to get it there to have a chance. I 2 threw that hole. On 12, I nailed another long put this one from 80-90 feet. It was luck again. I hook that sucker in there with my XL driver. It was a good throw. I 2 threw that hole. I'm awesome. I'm theJEDMAN
My bartender was not at my Hooter's on Saturday. It was devastating. I had not been there for awhile. I hope she hasn't ended her term of employment. I might not be able to go there anymore. Plus, some doofus was taking up the good seat next to the beer taps at the bar. That is where the server station is. That is the best place to sit. All the servers have to pick up stuff there at some point in the evening. It is the bar stool coveted by the superficial man. Speaking of the superficial Man. I don't want to get a bad rap for this. There are many kinds of man. There is the intellectual man. There is the sporting man. There is the sensitive man. There is the caring man. There is the respectful man. The is the super buffet connoisseur man.There is the subconscious man. I've been all of these at one time or another in my life. I cannot exist being only the superficial man. It is only a small part of theJEDMAN. It cannot be all encompassing. Things or ideas that are solely superficial bore theJEDMAN in a very short time. Superficial things are not lasting. Superficial things are shallow and lack depth. theJEDMAN needs depth to live. Give theJEDMAN depth! I'll die in the shallow end. Push me out to the deep ocean. It is just that superficial things are good blog material. Mocking superficial things are what my blog fans want and deserve. We are not curing cancer. We are not fixing bad heart rythmn problems. We are only providing social commentary on societal mores. Sometimes when I have a superficial man momment I feel gross and disgusted with myself.
Now for some important blog writing.I've been watching some bad TV lately. I'm into these reality shows. I'm giving my take on them.
*Bachelor-This show is way better than the bachelorette. The women they get on this show are pretty good for the superficial man. They fight, yell at each other and some of them are unstable. They take off their dresses to win the dude. The dudes they get on the bachelorette are too normal, but I guess that they can't put scary dudes on there for the bachelorette. The women get so upset when they get eliminated. It seems that they don't understand anything about odds. They start with 25 girls. There can only be one winner. That is a 4% percent chance of being the winner. Plus, how many swimsuit models from Edmonton, Alberta can there be in the world? They have two on the show. I should be on this show. I'd be good quality TV.
*Amazing Race-You know I've never watched this one before until the recent incarnation. I guess this is the 7th one they have had. This is pretty good. You get to see the places they go pretty good. The last show that had was in India. It was interesting. This show is a little tedious seeing the same people run from place to place over and over. The only problem here is the two of the partner teams on the show that were coveted by the superficial man were eliminated on the first few epidodes. How is the superficial man supposed to keep watching? How is the superficial man supposed to stay interested if the two rubia teams are gone? There is a group of senior citizens left and a couple of alternative guys. Both groups are kind of annoying. I mean I'm not against them. People can do and be whatever they want as long as they are not annoying.
*Next Top Model-You would think the superficial would be watching this one, but not this superficial man. They don't do stunts jor feats of strength. No reason to watch. Sports Illustrated swimsuit model search did stunts and feats of strength. That made it good.
*Fear Factor-I'm convinced that the contestants have to submit full body glossy photos for this one. I like the stunts, but not the gross stuff. I really don't see this one very much.
*American Idol-I hate it. I refuse to watch it. It is unfortunate.
*Apprentice-I like this one, but the latest edition has eliminated all contestants coveted by the superficial man. There is one semi-cute woman left, but she has a name that I don't like. I would break up with her just because of her name which is a purely superficial reason.
*Chasing Farrah-This is pretty good. I think Farrah has gotten a bad rap. She's not too dumb, but I think she is victim of her fame I think fame turns most people into freaks. How could she not be some sort of freak when one of her fans gets her to autograph is arm and he goes and gets it permanently tattooed. I think being famous means that one stupid thing you do gets played on TV over and over. Farrah doesn't look too bad. She is 59 years olds. She' a little hagy, but she's alright. Jaclyn Smith and Cheyl Ladd probably have aged better, but all three of them have qualities coveted by the superficial man. Plus, Farrah was with the Six Million Dollar Man. Six Million Baby! I watched the show they shot at her parents home right before her mother died. It was touching. I had a tear in my eye.
*Nick and Jessica are done, so they have this tattooed freak on the MTV with this hot rubia. I have no idea who these people are, but I can't stand looking at tattoo dude. Plus, they have kids together. So, I won't be TIVOing that one. It freaks me out too much. I don't really have TIVO anyway.
*Desperate Housewives-I know it is not reality, but it is pretty good for the superficial man. If a place like that really existed, boys from all over the city would be infiltrating that neighborhood looking and fighting to do all kinds of landscaping at the homes of those women.
*Contender-It's ok. I like the stunts they do. I hate the intimate family scenes. I'm just not a big enough boxing fan to watch.
OUT! theJEDMAN
.: posted by Jed 7:58 PM
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