theJEDMAN NATION-A New Wave Manifesto

Documenting the JED Experience

Monday, December 29, 2003

It has been over a week ago, but I had a spectacular SUPERFICIAL MAN MOMENT. I don't have a girlfriend, so these moments are pretty much all I have to live for. Anyway, I was out on the town and I decided to go to Tanner's to get a cheese burger. Tanner's has a pretty good cheese burger. Plus, they have crinkle cut fries. Those rule. It had been a long time since I had food like that because all I eat is fiber now. I just love hamburgers.
I walked into the club and sat at the bar. The bartender came down to wait on me. She was so beautiful. She had all the qualities coveted by the superficial man. Her manner of classy dress on this day accentuated her SUPERFICIAL MAN qualities. She had a tight hooded mid-drift showing zipper sweater on with jeans. She had the tail bone tattoo, but she was so beautiful that I could possibly overlook that automatic death blow red flag in the world of theJEDMAN. In a word, she was SPECTACULAR.
I ordered my food and I couldn't stop staring at her. She was so beautiful. I couldn't control my demons. My demons keep me from just gazing. I stare. I can't just gaze. I stare. I'm a bad man. I have demons. I can't out run my demons. My dark sides just popped right out.
After I ordered this older guy came in and sat at the bar next to me. He knew the bartender by name. He mentioned to her that she was dressing in a very provocative way. He said to her that she was trying to kill all of us men with the way she dressed her SUPERFICIAL MAN assets. She stated that she had to pay rent again soon. This guy was having a SUPERFICIAL MAN MOMENT.
This guy was a real talker. He said that he worked at home and his wife made him get out of the house every afternoon for a couple of hours. He acted like he came to Tanner's a lot. This is great, because the idea of the SUPERFICIAL MAN MOMENT is bigger than just staring at a hot chick. It is more. It is the camaraderie of sharing the SUPERFICIAL MAN MOMENT with the other guys at the club. It is going into the club and being with the guys and experiencing SUPERFICIAL MAN MOMENTS. It is bigger than just any one hot chick or any one person. It is huge. It is eternity. It is love. It is priceless. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 10:40 PM

Tuesday, December 16, 2003

Well after four years, I finally won the NFL game picking pool at the office. I picked 15 games correctly. I won $6400 for the effort. I'm the greatest. I'm the new champion. I'm #1. I'm theJEDMAN. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 8:06 PM

Sunday, December 14, 2003

I got to hang with theQUICK. We saw this game. At the game, L-Town went to the hospitality room and ate a bunch of sandwiches. Then L-Town loaded up a bag full of sandwiches. Did I get any? No. There was no display of sharing. L-Town just brought back a cup of M&M's from the hospitality room. Man, everyone who knows me, knows that I love sandwiches. It was like that one time, my nutritionist accused me of eating pasta for lunch. No way. Everyone that knows me knows I only eat sandwiches for lunch. It is too bad. Those hospitality room sandwiches are always good.
Later, me and theQUICK did some damage in the land of the beautiful people. Bucklin showed up. It is awsome hanging with Bucklin. He's an animal. theQUICK did one great job selecting seating in the best servers section. Our server, Missy, was beautiful. Throughout the night, I was nursing my drink, because that is what I do. Missy kept calling me SWEETIE and HONEY to see if I wanted anything else. Missy was so pretty. Missy really brought out the superficial man in me. That should be a song, THE SUPERFICIAL MAN IN ME. theQUICK is the greatest. theQUICK really knows how to put his men in the best positions to be with the best servers. theQUICK is amazing. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 7:31 PM

Wednesday, December 10, 2003

I'm number ONE. I'm #1. theJEDHEADS are the South Division Champions of the TopFlight Fantasy Football League. I finished with a 7-7 record and I'm the number 5 seed in the playoffs. I would have been in 5th place in the North Division. I won $5,100 for the title. I'm the new CHAMPION. I'm the new CHAMPION. theJEDMAN is #1. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 1:52 PM

Well, I went to Hooter's again. I go for the wings. Plus, that place is a gold mine of blog material. It was really crowded. I sat at the bar. That same girl was working behind the bar as the last time I was there. She has some of the qualities of the superficial man. She was really busy. So, I sat there ate my wings and celery and read the newspaper. That was a weird sight at Hooter's.
At one point I looked a little too long at one of the servers. She smiled and waved at me. I didn't feel bad because that is what the superficial man in me is supposed to do at Hooter's.
Later, as the bartender was talking to me, this guy dressed head to toe in the brand with the three stripes came up to the bar and asked the bartender if his shirt was too flashy. It was your standard golf shirt. She said no and then he said that his athletic director wants him to wear a shirt with a collar but his wife said that this shirt was too flashy. I told him that it matched his pants. Then he left suddenly. The bartender looked at me perplexed. It was weird. I laughed.
Hooter's is what it is. I like the wings. The servers are nice and have qualities coveted by the superficial man in me. It is one place that you can get a beer that is relatively smoke free. Plus, there are people like the guy in the brand with the three stripes. What more could you want. theJEDMAN