theJEDMAN NATION-A New Wave Manifesto

Documenting the JED Experience

Saturday, November 30, 2002

I know that I misspell words from time to time and have grammar problems here and there. I just don't see all of my mistakes when I write, even if I proof read it several times. However, I will not stand for people mis-naming and using the wrong words for stuff. This problem was evident the other day when I ate at a popular sandwich chain. They are mis-naming condiments again. They have these specialty condiments that they use and that you can buy. There is Southwest, Honey Mustard and Greek Feta Cheese to name a few. You can get these put on your sandwich if you desire. They are attaching the word SAUCE to these condiments. This is wrong. They are DRESSINGS. You dress a sandwich. You don't sauce a sandwich, unless it is the meatball. That has maranera sauce. This mis-naming of condiments should be stopped immediatly, because it is wrong. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 2:52 PM

The infinitive TO PARTY is being overused in society. My first recollection of phrases, DO YOU PARTY? HEY, YOU WANT TO PARTY?, DON'T INVITE HER. SHE DOESN'T PARTY, etc. was back in the 80s. These phrases were secret dope smoker lingo. It was a way to find out if other people smoked dope. Now, it seems that everyone uses phrases like, I PARTIED LAST NIGHT. So, these phrases should be used only by the dope smoking cartel. If you are a member of the dope smoking cartel, stay away from me. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 2:43 PM

Monday, November 25, 2002

My alarm clock goes off in the morning with a personal recorded message to myself. It says, "wake up dummy. Get up dummy. Wake up baldy. Get up baldy. Wake up fat boy. Get up fat boy." I wonder if I have self-image problems. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 8:28 PM

This is gross, so you might not want to read past this sentence. I always have lent in my belly button. I remove lent everyday. This is a bad problem, because I'm afraid to wear midriff exposing sexy provacative shirts to exhibit my rippled abs. I'm just afraid that I can't be as sexy as I want to be with this lent problem in my belly button. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 8:11 PM

I have this email account. I used to get emails from people. Now the only emails I get are porn, lower mortgage rates and forwarded jokes. I want some real email. Make a sacrifice. I may not be worth it, but I'm theJEDMAN. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 3:58 PM

I got on the scale buck naked the other day at the gym. I was in the locker room. I was in the men's locker room. I weighed 204. I'm 4 pounds away from the magical sub 200 weight that I last had sometime in 1986.I've been hitting the gym a lot lately. My body is sculpted. There are two words that can describe my body, "PHYSCIAL SPECIMAN." Alright, my body is not as good as I think it is, but my gut is a lot smaller than it used to be. My belt serves a purpose other than a fashion accessory now. I see pictures of myself a couple of years ago and think to myself what a tub of goo I was. That is what we should all aim for. Be less a tub of goo today than you were yesterday. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 3:53 PM

Sunday, November 24, 2002

I don't have a girlfriend, so I go a lot of places by myself. I go get a sandwich by myself. I go to the movies by myself. I did these two tasks one Saturday. In the sandwich place I sat at a table by myself. I was about the only one in the place. There were many empty tables, so I take the table far away from other people as I can get. A couple of people come in and they sit down at the table next to me. They had no regard for personal space. This was a PERSONAL SPACE VIOLATION. Later I am in the theater waiting for the movie to start and a couple of people walk in and sit in the same row that I'm in and only a couple of seats away. We are the only people in the theater. This was a PERSONAL SPACE VIOLATION.Personal space should never be violated. If your in a place that is virtually empty sit at a reasonable distance from other people, not right next to them, unless you are an attrractive woman that woos me at first sight.theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 8:20 PM

I'm no fashion expert, but I do know a bad fashion strategy when I see one. I was out in the JOCO eating at a reasonable sit down restaurant. There were a lot of teeanage girls walking around with those low cut jeans hugging their hips at obscene depths. This isn't the major bad fashion strategy here. The major iladvised fashion strategy here is the teenage girls that have some junk hanging over the belt-line. This should be banned. I got a little junk hanging over my belt but, I cover it up. Now, you might think I'm a pervert for noticing this, but sometimes you just can't help looking at people who draw attention to themselves, no matter what their age is. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 8:09 PM

This is kind of gross, so you might want to stop reading now. On Saturday, I did not load my gym bag properly. I forgot to put in a clean T-shirt to wear after my shower post JEDMAN championship workout. So, I had to put on my T-shirt that I wore during JEDMAN championship workout.This just happened to be the T-shirt I wore all day on Friday and slept in Friday night. When I got home after JEDMAN championship workout, I forgot to change out of the smelly T-shirt. So, I wore it all day on Saturday. Saturday night, I fell asleep in the chair and did not change it when I went to bed. On Sunday, I went to JEDMAN championship workout again with the same shirt on. So, I wore the same shirt for almost 3 days and and did JEDMAN chapionship workout in it twice. This is a rotten clothes management strategy executed by theJEDMAN. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 7:56 PM

Thursday, November 21, 2002

I was DUPED. I was DUPED at America's Neighborhood Grill. I don't drink a lot of soda anymore. Ocasionally I'll have one, but it usually tastes like syrup. So, I order club soda to from time to time as a change of pace. I was DUPED at America's Neighborhood Grill. During the meal, I had two glasses of club soda. These were small glasses, not the big ones that the regular soda comes in. Anyway, I get my bill, I was charged $3.98 for the pair. I was DUPED. Man, $3.98 for about 20 ounces of club soda. That is roughly 20 cents per ounce. That is a big markup from the 5 cents that the total product cost to America's Neighborhood Grill. Plus, no free refills. I was DUPED. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 7:30 PM

Tuesday, November 19, 2002

I was doing my championship workout the other day. I noticed a woman with some low cut workout pants. Protruding out of these workout pants was one of those tail bone tattoos. It was like the workout pants were specifically cut this way to expose the tattoo, so nimrods like me will look at it. I tell you nothing gets me more excited than a tail bone tattoo. I don't know how I seem to be able to control myself. I just don't get the whole tail bone tattoo deal. I don't get tattoos in general. Just like dangling belly button attachments, Tail bone tattoos are trashy not classy. I think they should be banned. Ban TAIL BONE TATTOOS now.

.: posted by Jed 6:41 PM

Sunday, November 17, 2002

I was at a KU football game. The game got over. I was going to go pick up some of those good plastic ball game cups. Then, it dawned on me that I am not 12 years old anymore. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 4:42 PM

Thursday, November 14, 2002

For a mid-week diversion, I drove one hundred miles into Missouri. I saw the Big Cats play the Smart Birds. I was cheering for the Big Cats, but they lost when they failed to convert the 2-point converstion late in the game, after receiving a penalty on their first successful attempt. It was awesome. It was a great game. The Big Cats played very well.There is really no story here, just the mid-week diversion of driving 100 miles into Missouri, when normally I'm aftraid to cross state line. Plus, I've hit a dry spell lately, but once again, I'll have another creative spurt and give you, the fans, the quality reading material that your deserve. The stuff I've been thinking up lately has been crap, so I have not been posting it to aviod insulting you, the fan. theJEDMAN

.: posted by Jed 8:41 PM

Tuesday, November 05, 2002

I've attended a couple of sporting events at the University of Kansas lately. I love going to sporting events. There is so much to see other than the sports themselves. There are idiots in the stands. There is action on and off the field that you don't get to see on TV. Plus, there are usually hot babes on the sidelines. I've noticed something that is really disturbing to me. The group formally known as the "Crimson Girls," is now called the KU Dance Team. The name KU Dance Team is no good. This is political correctness run amuck. I guess "Crimson Girls" is too controversial in the new century. They still wear the same form fitting midriff showing outfits. They still dance during time-outs and half time. Why can't they still be called the CRIMSON GIRLS? Sometimes a guy just wants to see a group of nubile young babes with a good group name. CRIMSON GIRLS is the best name. It just is. theJEDMAN